Dear Papa

Dear Dad,
I don't know if you will ever read this but thank you. As I am lying in my bed with a fever, I'm listening to TED talks and one just came up that struck my heart. In today's world the most demeaning thing you can say to a boy is BE A MAN. When I look back, I never see those words in my childhood. Conversely, I only hear YOU ARE A MAN. Even at times I do not feel like a man, yoi have always told me, whether in deed or word, YOU ARE A MAN. Today, this man is thanking his father for everything he has ever done. Through joys and smiles, and the pains that have torn our family to pieces.
Oh, hell, right now I'm crying right now, and right now I am not ashamed. Right now these tears, are from love. You tought me how to cry, you taught me to laugh, you taught me to be in tune with myself. Most of these lessons I did not learn until much later, but not withstading, you laid a foundation for me, not to be a good man, but a great man. I can only hope one day I can pass on your lessons.
I went out to a men's retreat over a year ago, and we talked about St. Joseph. Now as I look back, even with all the icons, there was only one image that filled my head was yours. You were willing to give, whether or not you said a word, and give and give.
You were there when I betrayed you, you were there when I cheated and lied and attacked you. You are still here through Hell and highwater to tell me I love you. My only regret is, I wish I said it to you more often.
Recently, someone asked me what is your earliest memory. I did not reply but now looking back. I think it was me saying "I love you" and you saying "I love you, bud", Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there. Overall, thank you Dad.
I dont think I could ever have made it this far without you in my life.
I love you Dad,
Ink

P.S. I hope to many more years together, Abba.