The Quiet of my Mind

As the dark closes in, the slate is clear
Sometimes I wish you listened to the thoughts I hear
As I sit alone in this bed for two
all my thoughts return to you

I know I said things, I won't say again
But let's make up and not pretend
that we aren't creatures of our passion
Before we end up Cashing in

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

I know we said we wouldnt fight
then why the hell am I up so late tonight
They all said love is struggle and pain
But at the end we'd have the gain

While I sit alone, with the pillows of my bed
All the thoughts of you dance through my head
I said I'd be strong as I want to be
but right now I'm feeling so needy

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

I can wait til the morning for you to say I love you
Keep these words to myself, and you will never know
That these thoughts I keep in my head are too
dangerous to us, When we already said so

But I'll stay here writing these words
hoping somewhere someday they will be heard
but this text screams so much more
than any thing than I did before

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

A meditation Part 3 Intelligence

With intelligence comes misery. Ignorance is bliss. The truth behind these sayings is more than any can bear. True intelligence is hard to manage, the pain of reason, the cold of truth, and the harsh comfort of logic. This is not to lament the gift of intelligence, but every gift has a curse. Gifts are just half of the coin. A curse is its other half.
All things have a cost, even money has a cost. The truth of life is that everything ebbs and flows with the rest of things, we have to give to take. This is why greed eats only itself. For when nothing is given, EVERYTHING is taken. Think of it, Everything changes and the things we stockpile will eventually die.


 Habere est alienare. Nihil commutaverat.

Remember these things. For these are my words I hoped to be remembered by
Bi i dtiuin

A meditation: Part 2 Defining Reality and Our Role in it

Belief. A word that has more turmoil attached by a history of love and war than any other. So many seek to covet it, so many others are eager to give theirs. Few are truly willing to speak out of its true nature.

People seldomly understand the true power of belief. From it we can shape the sheer fabric of reality. For how we see the world changes how the world is in our eyes. See it with eyes unclouded. Let not the opinions or judgements of others define your reality. 

The media today has now employed under it the use of my people, wordsmiths. We were reveered as magicians in Egypt, rebels in Rome. Our own founding fathers were trained to be such. Our words are made alive with each thought we have. So, as Ptah of the Egyptians did, we must learn to speak sparingly and only when necessary. Our words carry weight, and people see this. With our words we can and will shape others realities if they are not careful.

We need to learn that we must see something unbiased, nothing is unless we deem it is. The illusion of The Concrete is an illusion. All is nothing, and nothing is all. only what we define as real is real. From the sheer power of belief. We only agree on similar facts. Magic is magic because we agree its magic. Science is science because we believe it is science. That is what makes something Concrete. Agreement with the illusion. 

Remember these things. For these are my words I hoped to be remembered by

Bi i dtiuin

Dao to Meaning

Dao to Meaning

By: Eric Allman

What truly is the meaning of life

Is it something we draw from the pain and strife

A wild guess or a prominent vow

To see our life through past the here and now

My solution is we cant look to one another

For meaning to one isn’t the same to another

Intolerance: The bigotry against Muslims

Recently, I was approached by the principal of my school because I told someone I had friends in the Middle East. Now, he didn't have an issue with their location. He had an issue with the fact they were Muslims.
Everyone reading this should know that I am a devout Catholic, I wouldn't convert even if my life depended on it. That being said, one of my best friends, Toqa, is a Muslim and she is the sweetest person with the most understanding heart in the world (nothing against you Dominka). We laugh together, cry together, draw together, write together, I help her understand my world and she helps me understand her world. When my principal told me that students didn't feel safe around me because I don't condemn their actions, I was sad. Don't get me wrong, I was angry, I was more sad though. I tried to assure him that I wasn't going to do anything to hurt anyone but I could tell that didn't change anything. About a week before, my history teacher went on a rant about how Muslims hate Christians. During that time, I left the room and didn't return until the end of the period to get my stuff and go to lunch.
Muslims aren't evil. The people that do evil things in the name of Islam would do the acts in the name of anything. I know I am going to get hate for this but I will say this, I am ashamed to be a Christian if that means I have to hate Muslims. I refuse to hate Toqa. She means more to me than anything else I know. I have known her for almost three years and I trust her. After my Poppop died, I thought no one could fill the void he left but she did. Her religion makes no negative difference. In fact it makes it easier to talk to her.
All this makes me proud to call her my sister through God. It was by His mercy I found a kindred spirit. For that reason, I refuse to evangelize to her. She is perfect the way she is. I will close with a quote from the Romans to silence all those Christians who would speak ill of our friendship.

But you who eat vegetables only--why do you judge your brother or sister? And you who eat everything--why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God

Romans 14:10 

Aha moment

At risk of sounding like a Mutual of Omaha commercial, I had an Aha! moment just a few minutes ago.
I speak a form of creole. It's my own special one, and I use it all the time!

Examples

I use German for questions often like
"Was ist das?" and " Wo bist du"

I use French for introductions like
"C'est moi backpack" and " I lo em"

Then, Chinese just sneaks in
"Can I watch a dianying?" and "I lo wi dong the play"

Latin is just thrown willy-nilly
"Quid tempus will you pick me up?" and "Amo the idea of trevelling"

Somehow, actual Louisianan Creole sneaks in
"But mom, mo travay!" and " ri a is lo flat"

Italian shows itself once in a while
"I modo got un po of help e huwa" and " io non o homework oggi"

Arabic likes to make itself known
"Huwa a libro la in his bookbag" and "enti know it?"

Hebrew comes from nowhere
"I Shomer libro la in my locker" and "Lo pa'al"

Oh sometimes, Gaelic comes into the equation
"I ithim  maiteoil for dinner."

And then when several words have identical meanings across languages they get specific meanings

Book

Katib- a practice book
Libro- a book in general
Buech- a borrowed book
Sefer-a reference book
Shu- a sketch book

Not

non- not (for a specific party or event)

bu/bat - not (for unclassifying parties)

m - uncertain but most likely not

hapana- certainly not, definitely, no possibility of changing

lo- not (generic)

What

Quid-what?

Was-what (thing)

Que?- What(did you say)

 

To be

Hai- reserved for people

shi- reserved for things

ta- used with the progressive tense

Examples

I non sikteyng you - I don't understand what you, specifically, are saying

I bat odi them - I don't hate all but some of them

Huwa ta'm vens- he most likely isn't coming

Id hapana halt- It doesn't stop, ever

Hiya lo ai ya- she doesn't like you

I hai een buachaill tres screwed up

Another Song

Same request as the first lyrics
so I am happy to present, Brutus

Brutus

The wounds are open
Bleeding out, not copin'
At the feet of my foe
Dying fast, with no place to go

Fire blazes and fire rages
You will be known throughout the ages

[Chorus]
You want to take it all
Like no one won't notice
I'll be Caesar and fall
you can stab me like Brutus
Screaming out loud, but nobody can hear
Et tu Brute! then fall Caesar!

Listen to no one, they don't care
Waiting to scatter me, in the air
Dipping your hands in my blood
Dirtying yourself with your own mud

Taking solace in your deeds
But solace isn't what your soul needs

[Chorus]

Cave! Cave! Cave! Curre Caesarem
Morere! Morere! Est tuum temporem
Ex ultionem morieris
te non moriar! ipsum necabis!

[Chorus}

A song

If someone could write some music to go along with this would be AMAZING

Inside my Insanity

Theme of the blog

Sun glows a dark hue

And morning grass has acidic dew

Fires burn cold and freeze wood

And dust only falls where statues stood

Chorus

A place where the land is unstable

The moon is always dark red

A place not understandable

Something some one has ever said

A breeze makes you deaf and the dark makes you blind

Open skies make you fall away and pitfalls make you fly

A place where you go crazy when you see the sky

Welcome to the inside of mind

Ruins are palaces and prisons are homes

Old ideas kill and new ones roam

Tears are happy and smiling’s sad

Being insane can really be all bad

Chorus

 Clouds cover the sky a storm arrives

Where all the cattle go stampede and drive

Finding no solace or amnesty

While inside my insanity

Chorus x2

A story segment: The Witch of Wyoming

"Familiam tuam necabo et" The woman was gagged before she could finish her threat. I took her to the nearest cruiser and threw her in, hammered the trunk five times and the car was gone. I went into my police cruiser and slumped down.
"I hate Shade-witches," I muttered under my breath. My partner looked to me with a strange look. I told him I said that I hate crazies. He started the car and we were off to the precinct.
The precinct was an unimpressive, brick building with a police shield above four glass frames. We saw the Shade-witch getting unloaded from another cruiser. She was spouting curses in Latin when she was thrown into the building. Poor woman, in two hours she's going to be kidnapped from the jail and prosecuted by my coven.
I suppose I owe you an explanation. See, I'm a witch. Witches aren't to be confused with Wiccans, witches can throw fire from their hands, while Wiccans maintain the natural order of the universe. We need both in this world to keep it flowing. My coven has been around for over six thousand years and for as long as we have existed, we have been protecting the world of non-magicians from those who would use magic for personal gain and/or harm to others.
I am a Seeker, my job is to catch the bad guys and give them to the Observers. The Observers find the bad guys and tell me where to get them. Afterwards, I hand off the magician to the Observers. And that's about it.

The Observers? They are actually a stereotype. Bunch of hooded figures around a fire deciding the fates of those who break the rules. Creepy, dramatic, but they do their jobs well. Guess that is what we should all


After what seemed to be an eternity, I was able to leave work at 5:00 PM. Jumping in my car, I was off. Finally, I reached the door of my brick townhouse. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of my car. I went into my house and shut the door, locking with all seven locks. Each lock, I spoke a word for each locking it with an age old spell. I went into the living room and plopped down on the sofa with a sonorous thud.
"I'm home," I yelled to a seemingly empty house. An owl swooped in and landed on the sofa next to my left shoulder.
"Welcome home Cassandra," She cooed upon landing, "how was your day?" I scratched the nocturnal bird's head and replied in a somewhat somber tone.
"I caught another Shade-witch today," The owl perked up and moved closer.
"That's the fifth one in a week," She squawked in astonishment, "Why so many?" I shrugged and suggested a new coven must have sprung up nearby. Yes, I have a talking owl. I just noticed that owls don't usually talk. Well she does. Her name is Nancy and she's been my friend since I was three. She was bred by an ancient order dedicated to Athena, a great sorceress to the point she was able to extend her life to near infinity. The owls that her followers breed are highly intelligent to the point of fluency in human languages. Nancy is one of the brightest, with an IQ of over 600 and has 263 spell books memorized. Her one fault, she doesn't have thumbs.
"What's for dinner?" I asked. Yes, Nancy can cook. She do basic animation but that's the limit of her magic.
"Chicken Risotto with a side of your ex called" I stopped dead. I didn't know what just happened, but I believe my bird just blind sided me. Oh sorry, we are being honest here. My familiar just blind sided me.

Inertia

Inertia

Is it possible that inertia can be more than just a property of matter? Could inertia be the natural state of all things? When we wake we don't want to get out of bed unless something is happening. If that other thing wasn't happening, would we stir from our beds?

Don't we easily dismiss change, especially when we enjoy what is? It is hard to make a difference in our own lives because of our resistance. Could joy and contentment be the ultimate recognition of inertia? Could inertia be the force in our life which is unchanging? Inertia could be the traits passed from parent to child. The same traits that we can recognize as part of us. These traits show our unchanging lineage. Does that mean it is wrong to try and change them?

Is our resistance to change a reflection of the matter that comprises our form? Could this be a reflection of our fear of the unknown? Could our fear stem from our form? The order of the universe manifests as inertia, and chaos, entropy. Maybe entropy is the unknown and too much of it will destroy us. Yet we need it to survive. Is our need to face our fears due to the fact we need entropy as much as inertia? We are governed by complex laws we only begin to understand. They are so fragile and delicate , yet they are resilient because of the ability to resist change. Could our fear be one thing that can save us? Could anarchy be the ultimate expression of our fear? Could a government be the representation of our inertia? Is a democracy our attempt to create an artificial version of ourselves? Is a totalitarian government our need to have the stability we crave so dearly?

What do we truly fear more than the unknown? Some embrace their fear and chaos. They stride boldly into the new frontiers and places some could never imagine. If we were all like that, would we be a race today? Our inertia drives our society, our need for each other. While many concepts revolve around birth and death, life represents our order, our inertia. Yet if we were only inertia would we be the same person? No individuality, no unique thoughts? Is chaos the manifestation of our differences? We fear the unknown and the differences we have because we're afraid it will destroy us. But if there was no chaos, would there be an us or a me? Could our inertia be a force which can kill us as much as chaos? Perhaps we need both in order to be as we are.