Dear Mama

Dear Mom,
Today I am thinking a lot about the strength and characteristics that have been instilled on me. Endurance, perseverance, morality, respect. And in a world where women vary widely from shape and size to morals and values. I am glad that I had you as my role model.
I have a lot to thank you for starting with the beginning, My X chromosome. From that chromosome you gave me my intelligence, my spunk, my musical talent and much more. Then comes the next nine months. For almost a year you held me inside you to a final form. Completed, you went through the rigours of birth for me.
I know in the past I have done a lot to cause you pain but at the end of the day, I am glad I can come to you about anything and everything. Thank you, Mom, for caring about me so much. With pain and strife, you showed me that anything can be forgiven. Even when a sin tears a family to shreds, you brought us all back. Your emphasis of family gave me hope to one day have my own. Sometimes you do have to remind yourself you have to breathe but I think we are all allowed a fatal flaw.
You ran your own business while taking care of a rambunctious problem child and still was able to teach me about right and wrong. Duty and Honor. Want and Need.
I have learnt from you that people like us, with deeper emotions, have to be careful with them. They can drive us great distances but they can hurt people too. You taught me how to tell the truth, with varying degrees of success in the past due to student error. You taught me above all things how to love.
All in all you taught me things that I wouldn't have to learn the hard way. Lessons.
I know we have our differences, but I just want you to know I love you
Love,
Ink
PS Happy Mother's Day

Dear Papa

Dear Dad,
I don't know if you will ever read this but thank you. As I am lying in my bed with a fever, I'm listening to TED talks and one just came up that struck my heart. In today's world the most demeaning thing you can say to a boy is BE A MAN. When I look back, I never see those words in my childhood. Conversely, I only hear YOU ARE A MAN. Even at times I do not feel like a man, yoi have always told me, whether in deed or word, YOU ARE A MAN. Today, this man is thanking his father for everything he has ever done. Through joys and smiles, and the pains that have torn our family to pieces.
Oh, hell, right now I'm crying right now, and right now I am not ashamed. Right now these tears, are from love. You tought me how to cry, you taught me to laugh, you taught me to be in tune with myself. Most of these lessons I did not learn until much later, but not withstading, you laid a foundation for me, not to be a good man, but a great man. I can only hope one day I can pass on your lessons.
I went out to a men's retreat over a year ago, and we talked about St. Joseph. Now as I look back, even with all the icons, there was only one image that filled my head was yours. You were willing to give, whether or not you said a word, and give and give.
You were there when I betrayed you, you were there when I cheated and lied and attacked you. You are still here through Hell and highwater to tell me I love you. My only regret is, I wish I said it to you more often.
Recently, someone asked me what is your earliest memory. I did not reply but now looking back. I think it was me saying "I love you" and you saying "I love you, bud", Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there. Overall, thank you Dad.
I dont think I could ever have made it this far without you in my life.
I love you Dad,
Ink

P.S. I hope to many more years together, Abba.

Do you? Wonder Qui ero?

The hardest part of growing up is deciding who you want to be. You feel pressures that are really nonexistant and forces unknown. But through career paths and talks of salary who will you be as a person. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a boy who is the spitting image of a man who has struggled and fought. I used to complain that I never wanted to be like this man, my own father.
Today, I sat down and really thought to myself, would it be such a bad thing? Throughout the drama of life, he has managed to keep a level head, an open mind, a patient demeanor and a loving heart.
My own father would go through things few others would. He loves his family more than he loves himself, a feat rarely seen in today's world. And when you finally tell him these things, he will shrug them off in true humility. He is not afraid to let the world see him angry, or sad or even cry. In today's world of stoic masculinity and the ideal rugged man, the thought of a man crying shows he is weak or sissy, or heavan for bid gaywad. He lets his emotions show in goodness to others and himself.
At the end of the day, I really wonder if I could be a fraction of the man he is.
I love you, Dad

The Quiet of my Mind

As the dark closes in, the slate is clear
Sometimes I wish you listened to the thoughts I hear
As I sit alone in this bed for two
all my thoughts return to you

I know I said things, I won't say again
But let's make up and not pretend
that we aren't creatures of our passion
Before we end up Cashing in

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

I know we said we wouldnt fight
then why the hell am I up so late tonight
They all said love is struggle and pain
But at the end we'd have the gain

While I sit alone, with the pillows of my bed
All the thoughts of you dance through my head
I said I'd be strong as I want to be
but right now I'm feeling so needy

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

I can wait til the morning for you to say I love you
Keep these words to myself, and you will never know
That these thoughts I keep in my head are too
dangerous to us, When we already said so

But I'll stay here writing these words
hoping somewhere someday they will be heard
but this text screams so much more
than any thing than I did before

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

Do You? ... Know how much I care

This bit of info is a bit personal but for all of you out there who know me, this is important.

Somewhere out there, a girl hates her brother for all he's done. This girl has had a rough life dealing with some of the things she's seen, But right now I am starting a campaign for every plus one this gets, I will make a page that tells this girl that her brother loves her and why. Lets see if we can break 100! Ready set... +1!

Do You?... Show love

I want you to think about one person in your life who you genuinely care about.
Got them? Great!
Go tell them you love and appreciate them. RIGHT NOW! I'm willing to bet it'll make their day.
We all need to be loved, and feel it. I have seen too much love be taken for granted, even in my own life. But, without letting people know how they are appreciated, otherwise they don't know how valued they truly are.
TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE LOVED!!!

Do you?... Love yourself

I want yall to think about something. You can't love anybody more than you can love yourself. So how much DO you love yourself. Are there parts of you that you shut out? Pieces you want gone and never return? Bits you think you'd be better without?
well here's a news flash. That's how much you can love somebody else. So my recommendation take an hour today to do things for yourself. Basically take a I love me hour.

Alex Gaudino feat. Nicole Scherzinger - Missing You (Official Video)

I freaking LOVE this music video. It's so cute!!!

For you Dominika

Heart Breaks are hard

For Dominika

Hey Dominika,

I know heartbreaks are hard but you will get through it. 

Love ya!