Mistakes

The hardest mistakes are the ones we could have prevented. You look back and tell yourself this could have been prevented. I had such mistakes and I dearly paid for them. They came between my family, the caused me to yearn for their approval. I would constantly do things for them but that wouldn't change a thing. I sit here today torturing myself because most of my issues stem from my stupidity. I feel so alone but at the same time I can't let anyone too close, it hurts too much and I cant trust anyone anymore. But ultimately it's my fault and that is the whole of it

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

The Quiet of my Mind

As the dark closes in, the slate is clear
Sometimes I wish you listened to the thoughts I hear
As I sit alone in this bed for two
all my thoughts return to you

I know I said things, I won't say again
But let's make up and not pretend
that we aren't creatures of our passion
Before we end up Cashing in

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

I know we said we wouldnt fight
then why the hell am I up so late tonight
They all said love is struggle and pain
But at the end we'd have the gain

While I sit alone, with the pillows of my bed
All the thoughts of you dance through my head
I said I'd be strong as I want to be
but right now I'm feeling so needy

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

I can wait til the morning for you to say I love you
Keep these words to myself, and you will never know
That these thoughts I keep in my head are too
dangerous to us, When we already said so

But I'll stay here writing these words
hoping somewhere someday they will be heard
but this text screams so much more
than any thing than I did before

I hold my arms wishing you here
But just my thoughts wont bring you near
I wish you would creep up from behind
and bring the quiet to my mind
as my thoughts race like leaves in the wind
the words we said dont even begin
to settle it down, they just remind
Me I wont have the quiet of my mind

Do You? ... Know how much I care

This bit of info is a bit personal but for all of you out there who know me, this is important.

Somewhere out there, a girl hates her brother for all he's done. This girl has had a rough life dealing with some of the things she's seen, But right now I am starting a campaign for every plus one this gets, I will make a page that tells this girl that her brother loves her and why. Lets see if we can break 100! Ready set... +1!

Our song

This is the song for the friendship between me and Toqa.

Aha moment

At risk of sounding like a Mutual of Omaha commercial, I had an Aha! moment just a few minutes ago.
I speak a form of creole. It's my own special one, and I use it all the time!

Examples

I use German for questions often like
"Was ist das?" and " Wo bist du"

I use French for introductions like
"C'est moi backpack" and " I lo em"

Then, Chinese just sneaks in
"Can I watch a dianying?" and "I lo wi dong the play"

Latin is just thrown willy-nilly
"Quid tempus will you pick me up?" and "Amo the idea of trevelling"

Somehow, actual Louisianan Creole sneaks in
"But mom, mo travay!" and " ri a is lo flat"

Italian shows itself once in a while
"I modo got un po of help e huwa" and " io non o homework oggi"

Arabic likes to make itself known
"Huwa a libro la in his bookbag" and "enti know it?"

Hebrew comes from nowhere
"I Shomer libro la in my locker" and "Lo pa'al"

Oh sometimes, Gaelic comes into the equation
"I ithim  maiteoil for dinner."

And then when several words have identical meanings across languages they get specific meanings

Book

Katib- a practice book
Libro- a book in general
Buech- a borrowed book
Sefer-a reference book
Shu- a sketch book

Not

non- not (for a specific party or event)

bu/bat - not (for unclassifying parties)

m - uncertain but most likely not

hapana- certainly not, definitely, no possibility of changing

lo- not (generic)

What

Quid-what?

Was-what (thing)

Que?- What(did you say)

 

To be

Hai- reserved for people

shi- reserved for things

ta- used with the progressive tense

Examples

I non sikteyng you - I don't understand what you, specifically, are saying

I bat odi them - I don't hate all but some of them

Huwa ta'm vens- he most likely isn't coming

Id hapana halt- It doesn't stop, ever

Hiya lo ai ya- she doesn't like you

I hai een buachaill tres screwed up