The hardest part

What hurts the most is knowing that you are doing everything you can and more but sometimes it isn't enough. After all in the continuum of life I am but one speck, but I will be damned before I just roll over and take it. This speck is a fighter

Pride

For all those who don't know, I am a high school drop out. Yes. I know. Its hard to believe but I have a GED. Life has repeatedly beaten my butt to a point where I ran. Hell, sometimes I wonder if I havent done anything but run. My parents, were able to send me off for some much needed help when I needed it but I harbored so much darkness in my heart. Even these days I wonder, are my parents proud. Of course to my face they will tell me they are proud. I mean my parents aren't rude and indignant. But I sit here wondering am I a sore subject. I mean my sister is the best child of the family, she sits there and gives everything her all she is more likely to succeed than I am. What am I. Another drop out. A guy who can barely keep a job and a guy who didnt have anyone celebrate the fact he made it. I guess I should face it I am no one.

CNN

HEY CNN HEY CNN HEY CNN HEY CNN
Remember that time you black-mailed that guy from reddit?
Too soon? Too late.
Wait is the word black-mail racist? If so, what word should we use? I dont know let me check thesaurus.com. One moment
...
It says bribe, but that doesnt make any sense I'm not giving someone money to sway my decision.
Extortion, I mean I guess that works but I dont think it has the same ring. Oh well, racist or not it will be used #redfemale. I'm color and gender blind

Mistakes

The hardest mistakes are the ones we could have prevented. You look back and tell yourself this could have been prevented. I had such mistakes and I dearly paid for them. They came between my family, the caused me to yearn for their approval. I would constantly do things for them but that wouldn't change a thing. I sit here today torturing myself because most of my issues stem from my stupidity. I feel so alone but at the same time I can't let anyone too close, it hurts too much and I cant trust anyone anymore. But ultimately it's my fault and that is the whole of it

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

A thought for the evening

Over the course of politics and identity crises, there are more important things on my mind. I think of the other people in this world and what kind of legacy I leave. Will it be a good? Who have I hurt, Is my time being spent well? Do the people I care about know I care? Oh well back to numbing the throbbing questions with puppy videos til I fall asleep,

1 AM

Its a quarter after one I'm all alone and I want oreos.

I know I should sleep, but I have no self control so I eat oreos

and I don't know how I can do without, I want OREOOOOOOO

Little rant

Lets get something REAL clear right now, I may look like I'm 12. I certainly don't act like it no.
Of course not! Thats a disgrace.
I act like I'm 8