Mistakes

The hardest mistakes are the ones we could have prevented. You look back and tell yourself this could have been prevented. I had such mistakes and I dearly paid for them. They came between my family, the caused me to yearn for their approval. I would constantly do things for them but that wouldn't change a thing. I sit here today torturing myself because most of my issues stem from my stupidity. I feel so alone but at the same time I can't let anyone too close, it hurts too much and I cant trust anyone anymore. But ultimately it's my fault and that is the whole of it

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

Dear Mama

Dear Mom,
Today I am thinking a lot about the strength and characteristics that have been instilled on me. Endurance, perseverance, morality, respect. And in a world where women vary widely from shape and size to morals and values. I am glad that I had you as my role model.
I have a lot to thank you for starting with the beginning, My X chromosome. From that chromosome you gave me my intelligence, my spunk, my musical talent and much more. Then comes the next nine months. For almost a year you held me inside you to a final form. Completed, you went through the rigours of birth for me.
I know in the past I have done a lot to cause you pain but at the end of the day, I am glad I can come to you about anything and everything. Thank you, Mom, for caring about me so much. With pain and strife, you showed me that anything can be forgiven. Even when a sin tears a family to shreds, you brought us all back. Your emphasis of family gave me hope to one day have my own. Sometimes you do have to remind yourself you have to breathe but I think we are all allowed a fatal flaw.
You ran your own business while taking care of a rambunctious problem child and still was able to teach me about right and wrong. Duty and Honor. Want and Need.
I have learnt from you that people like us, with deeper emotions, have to be careful with them. They can drive us great distances but they can hurt people too. You taught me how to tell the truth, with varying degrees of success in the past due to student error. You taught me above all things how to love.
All in all you taught me things that I wouldn't have to learn the hard way. Lessons.
I know we have our differences, but I just want you to know I love you
Love,
Ink
PS Happy Mother's Day

Do you? Wonder Qui ero?

The hardest part of growing up is deciding who you want to be. You feel pressures that are really nonexistant and forces unknown. But through career paths and talks of salary who will you be as a person. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a boy who is the spitting image of a man who has struggled and fought. I used to complain that I never wanted to be like this man, my own father.
Today, I sat down and really thought to myself, would it be such a bad thing? Throughout the drama of life, he has managed to keep a level head, an open mind, a patient demeanor and a loving heart.
My own father would go through things few others would. He loves his family more than he loves himself, a feat rarely seen in today's world. And when you finally tell him these things, he will shrug them off in true humility. He is not afraid to let the world see him angry, or sad or even cry. In today's world of stoic masculinity and the ideal rugged man, the thought of a man crying shows he is weak or sissy, or heavan for bid gaywad. He lets his emotions show in goodness to others and himself.
At the end of the day, I really wonder if I could be a fraction of the man he is.
I love you, Dad

Do You? ... Know how much I care

This bit of info is a bit personal but for all of you out there who know me, this is important.

Somewhere out there, a girl hates her brother for all he's done. This girl has had a rough life dealing with some of the things she's seen, But right now I am starting a campaign for every plus one this gets, I will make a page that tells this girl that her brother loves her and why. Lets see if we can break 100! Ready set... +1!